1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:07,239
What will I do when you are far

2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:14,019
away and I am blue? What will

3
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:20,299
I do when I'm alone with

4
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:24,900
only dreams of you?

5
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:52,370
Look at the space she's made of this
room.

6
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:13,120
Tracy, it's obvious that you and me
living in the same house doesn't work.

7
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,360
We just get on each other's bristles.

8
00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:19,730
I'm going back to Edmonton. I'll ring
you. Love, Sharon.

9
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,910
What's the matter? Now what's given you
the ump?

10
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,470
I've got the ump. What are you talking
about? This.

11
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:30,450
Well, go on then. Go back to Edmonton if
you want.

12
00:01:31,020 --> 00:01:32,500
Oh, you silly care.

13
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:36,719
I wrote this when we had that row about
me cutting my toenails with a bread

14
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,770
knife.

15
00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:44,930
cleaning it tidy up. Too true, madam,
and you can start right now.

16
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,180
This place is filthy.

17
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,570
Look.

18
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:53,230
There's stuff going in there with a
deeper pole than the downstairs carpet.

19
00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:54,700
It'll soon scrape out.

20
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,320
Come down, Tracy. You've got a very bad
karma, you know. Yeah?

21
00:01:59,321 --> 00:02:01,659
Well, I probably called it from this
pigsty.

22
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:05,579
No, you see, there was this programme on
before Neighbours, all about yoga and

23
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:09,339
how we should deal with the pressures of
modern living by spending hours in

24
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:10,420
peaceful meditation.

25
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,100
It's a very rare and moving experience,
Tracey.

26
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,970
It sounds like another excuse to me for
you to sit on your jacksie all day.

27
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:20,060
I mean it. Tidy this room now.

28
00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,320
All right, all right.

29
00:02:22,321 --> 00:02:26,579
You got any more of these mugs in here?
I'm missing about half a dozen.

30
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,900
Oh, here, there's one here.

31
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:31,680
I think there's one in here somewhere.

32
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,230
Here.

33
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:39,380
You are a dirty article.

34
00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:41,810
That'll be Dorian.

35
00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:44,590
I mean it, now tidy this place up.

36
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:46,500
Yes, milady.

37
00:02:47,150 --> 00:02:49,980
Would you like me to draw your bath
afterwards, milady?

38
00:02:54,690 --> 00:03:01,609
20 questions

39
00:03:01,610 --> 00:03:04,010
that tell you if your man measures up.

40
00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:06,170
Where's me felt tip?

41
00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:13,820
Oh, that's right, I left the kebab.

42
00:03:15,711 --> 00:03:21,919
You're feeling okay, Dorian. You're
looking a little bit flushed.

43
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,030
Perfectly. I'm meeting Luke in 20
minutes.

44
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,100
Anticipation's half the thrill.

45
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,250
Oh, Tracy.

46
00:03:30,431 --> 00:03:36,699
You've done nothing through that
workman, of course, slipping in your

47
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,500
this morning, has it? Good grief, no.

48
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,500
He's, er, my odd job man.

49
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:41,910
Oh, yeah?

50
00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:45,410
Honestly? So, what's this fever you're
after?

51
00:03:45,411 --> 00:03:49,389
I'm arranging a little party and I need
your contacts to help fill it out.

52
00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:52,640
Good for you, Tracy. It's about time you
spread your social wings.

53
00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:56,169
I'll get Luke to bring round some of his
friends from the gymnasium. Oh, Jerome,

54
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:59,750
it's not that sort of party. It's a
product party for me to sell me

55
00:03:59,751 --> 00:04:03,529
Still flogging your fake perfume? Oh, I
don't know, Tracy. It's not very

56
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:05,870
Chigwell, is it? Oh, please, Dorian.

57
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:07,190
I need the money.

58
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:10,780
You don't have to get involved. Just
invite some of your mates round.

59
00:04:11,839 --> 00:04:14,300
Me? Tracey, I am part of a social
enclave.

60
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,760
I don't have any mates.

61
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,009
It's not like you to be unprepared,
Dorian.

62
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,230
I've got a couple in my handbag you can
borrow if you want.

63
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:29,279
No, I'm sorry, Tracey. If I introduced
my friends to your perfume, they

64
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,360
be my friends anymore.

65
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:33,400
Oh, don't worry, Trace.

66
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,420
Don't need a stack -up mob.

67
00:04:35,421 --> 00:04:39,179
We'll make a few phone calls and invite
some of the family round.

68
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:44,519
Oh, yeah. We could, couldn't we? Yeah,
there's Aunty Sylvie and her Rita and

69
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,040
Angela. Oh, and Captain Terry.

70
00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:46,979
And Sheila.

71
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:48,740
I think she's out of Holloway now.

72
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,140
Oh, and all the kids.

73
00:04:52,141 --> 00:04:53,379
All the kids?

74
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:56,660
Must be nearly 30 between them. Yeah, we
could have a street party.

75
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:57,950
Oh, yeah.

76
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,060
Jelly deals, bit of a knees up, bit of
ass breaking.

77
00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:06,270
All right, all right. Right, I'll get
some of the girls round.

78
00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:09,399
Thank you, Dorian. But couldn't we say
it's for a charity or something?

79
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,450
No, I'm not lying.

80
00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,080
Don't worry, Dor.

81
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,970
The girls will love our romantic. It's
good stuff.

82
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:19,430
Since I've been wearing it, I've done
more pulling than a tug -of -war team.

83
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,980
In fact, I did pull a tug -of -war team.

84
00:05:22,981 --> 00:05:28,319
Oi, stop eating them king prawns like
they're sweets. Do you know how much

85
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,220
cost? You're turning into a right neg,
you are, Trace.

86
00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:36,760
It's a bit late for the kiss of life,
Sharon. It's definitely dead.

87
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:39,910
I'm sucking the eggs out.

88
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,260
Oh, my God.

89
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,760
Oh.

90
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,630
It's only the same with caviar.

91
00:05:45,631 --> 00:05:49,089
That's only fish eggs, and you'd eat
that quick enough, wouldn't you? Yes, on

92
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:50,850
delicate slices of French toast.

93
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:54,130
I would not suck them directly from the
sturgeon's womb.

94
00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,300
Tracy.

95
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,730
A word of advice.

96
00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:09,670
If I were you, I'd get Sharon to keep a
low profile when the girls are here.

97
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:14,299
Women who wear Aromantique suck the eggs
out of prawns isn't what you'd call a

98
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,350
winning sales pitch.

99
00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:21,620
Now, what's the matter?

100
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:38,460
Oh, it must be on its holidays then.

101
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,360
No, it wasn't a mouse. It was probably a
beetle or something.

102
00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,040
What, wearing a fur coat?

103
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,700
Chase, watch my lips.

104
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,280
It was a mouse.

105
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,530
We've got mice.

106
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:50,650
We have not.

107
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:53,740
My house is spotless. You only get mice
in dirty holes.

108
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:56,600
No, you flaming don't. They like clean
places.

109
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,500
I well told you that. It's true.

110
00:07:00,481 --> 00:07:07,229
your front door it was odds on some
boozy Herbert had chucked up his pronoun

111
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:12,490
black all over your mat Tracy I know
what I thought

112
00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:49,929
ashamed of.

113
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:50,980
Trey? Be quiet.

114
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,340
This is your fault. You've bought them
here.

115
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:55,400
Me?

116
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,610
Oh, who am I then? The Pied Piper?

117
00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:02,390
You've been too lazy to do any
housework. That's why this place is so

118
00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,990
I admit my room's a bit untidy. Oh, a
bit?

119
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:08,130
But I cleaned this kitchen.

120
00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:12,790
The floor's clean, the table's clean,
the work surfaces are clean.

121
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:15,460
What about the insides of the cupboard?
Look.

122
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,120
Oh, now you're just being picky, aren't
you?

123
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:25,980
I could murder you.

124
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,940
Makes me feel all cootie just thinking
about it and running around in here.

125
00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:34,399
Don't you dare tell anyone, especially
not Dorian, with her mouth.

126
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,919
I'd die if anyone found out.

127
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,520
You'll have to get some poison.

128
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,979
You can do that, and then we, and that
includes you, you lazy cat, are going to

129
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,270
clean this house from top to bottom
properly.

130
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,880
All right, all right.

131
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,180
You've given me an headache now.

132
00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,380
Where's me norepinephrine?

133
00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:55,340
Upstairs in your bedside drawer. Move!

134
00:08:57,980 --> 00:08:59,240
The kebab.

135
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,060
have you been smoking roll -ups?

136
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,120
Trying to save money, aren't I?

137
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,150
This furnace could do with another once
-over.

138
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,380
Tracey, that would be the fifth once
-over it's had.

139
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,670
If I do any more polishing, you'll be
able to see your face in the carpet.

140
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,480
I want it done properly.

141
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,520
I have done it properly.

142
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,610
Doctors operate in dirtier rooms than
this.

143
00:10:00,611 --> 00:10:04,059
Yeah, well, your idea of properly and
mine ain't necessarily the same. Have

144
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,650
pulled that dressing table out and done
behind it?

145
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,140
It might be a mess.

146
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:11,020
Any excuse?

147
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:14,590
It ain't an excuse, Trace. Honestly, I'm
terrified of them.

148
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:18,180
When we had them in the flats, I had the
fright of me life.

149
00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:21,180
Opened the drawer and found a dead one
in me bra.

150
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,510
Oh, it was horrible.

151
00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,350
I had to get Chris to get it out.

152
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:30,129
In fact, I think that was the last time
I let Chris put his hand inside one of

153
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,180
me bras.

154
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:34,200
Is this the poison?

155
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:35,580
Yeah.

156
00:10:35,581 --> 00:10:38,699
see him off this wheel. Here, look, read
what he has to him. I don't want to

157
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,320
know. I don't like killing things.

158
00:10:40,321 --> 00:10:43,019
I'd rather there was another way to get
rid of them.

159
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:46,159
Well, I suppose we could always leave a
little note by the skirting board asking

160
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,059
them to move to Eastbourne for the
summer.

161
00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:51,310
It's all right, you starky -care, just
because I've got an heart.

162
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:56,159
Trace, believe me, there is only one way
to permanently evict the evil little

163
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,210
monsters.

164
00:10:57,211 --> 00:10:59,999
We've brought enough here to kill an
herd of elephants.

165
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,680
We've probably only got one or two.

166
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,260
You never have just one or two, Trace.

167
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,280
They're at it more than Dorian.

168
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,250
You'll need this to give the furniture
another once over.

169
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,680
I'll get on with cleaning the oven.

170
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:19,260
What glamorous lives we do lead.

171
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,820
This smells funny.

172
00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,180
It's special ladies' tobacco.

173
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,890
It's scented.

174
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,830
Sent it all the way from Morocco.

175
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:32,930
Can I sleep with you?

176
00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:38,179
I'm sure I can hear the little beggars
scratching about under my floorboards.

177
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:39,940
Oh, you're a right nuisance.

178
00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:41,670
Thanks, Trace.

179
00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:43,900
Oh, careful.

180
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,350
Sorry, sorry.

181
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:50,750
I hope you shaved your legs. You'd get
worse stubble than George Michael.

182
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:56,530
I don't want you catching my silk sheets
and making them go all bitty.

183
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,480
Shift! Any more orders?

184
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,080
Yes. Go to sleep.

185
00:13:13,971 --> 00:13:15,999
you miss Daryl?

186
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,650
No, it's because they took Crossroads
off the telly.

187
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,940
Now please go to sleep.

188
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,470
Trace?

189
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:27,110
What now?

190
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:30,460
I don't think that poison's working.

191
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,140
I think the mice look forward to eating
it.

192
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,410
I read somewhere that they can become
immune, you know.

193
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,380
Super mice, they're called.

194
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,050
Yeah? Wear little red capes and blue
tights, will you?

195
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:51,630
I know what I'm talking about, Tracey.

196
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:56,070
We'll have to get a cat.

197
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:00,710
Do you know what I said?

198
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:02,710
I heard. I'm thinking about it.

199
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:05,870
A cat would be company.

200
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,770
True. Be no need for you to stay then,
will there?

201
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:15,330
Shift, will you? You give out more heat
than a furnace.

202
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,590
I'm on the edge as it is. I don't think
there's enough room in here for you.

203
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:21,600
Oh, that's very nice, isn't it?

204
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,560
Your own sister calling you fat.

205
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,940
I'm not calling you fat. You're just so
fidgety.

206
00:14:26,941 --> 00:14:31,199
When we was kids and went to the caravan
at Lay's down, you kept me awake all

207
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,000
night with your tossing and turning.

208
00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:37,399
We used to have a laugh down the
caravan, though, didn't we? No, we

209
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,450
rained all the time.

210
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:39,960
And there was no telly.

211
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:43,219
All we did was play Scrabble every day
with Uncle Albert.

212
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:44,900
And all he knew was swear words.

213
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,680
It was his fault I got kicked out the
brownies.

214
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,980
Right, pack it in there, Tracey. It's
not funny. Look, it ain't me.

215
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,270
Throw it in there!

216
00:15:00,271 --> 00:15:04,119
What were they getting under the
floorboards? There's nothing I can do

217
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,979
Perhaps that'll teach us to clean
properly.

218
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:07,030
What am I going to do?

219
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:10,489
You can always go in the downstairs
toilet. It's got a concrete floor.

220
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:11,810
They can't get you in there.

221
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,360
Right.

222
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,490
You can't sleep down there.

223
00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:18,540
You watch me.

224
00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:25,950
Here she is, Trace.

225
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,490
Tiddle, the killer cat.

226
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,250
She'll soon get rid of them mice, won't
she?

227
00:15:32,251 --> 00:15:36,089
Yeah, well, just as long as you remember
you've got to look after her and lay

228
00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:37,140
out for all her food.

229
00:15:41,710 --> 00:15:44,900
She's going to be my protection against
them furry terrorists.

230
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:50,230
I'll be able to sleep easy in my bed
once she's with me, won't I? Yes.

231
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,680
I certainly can't spend another night in
a toilet.

232
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:59,920
Woke up this morning with a stiff neck
and a ring round me bum.

233
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,890
Where did you get her in the end?

234
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,610
Chris's cousin, George.

235
00:16:06,611 --> 00:16:07,809
The one with the kebab shop?

236
00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:08,860
Yeah, that's the one.

237
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:14,099
He's got a tabby that gets pregnant, and
the mere mention of the word Tom... So

238
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,499
he's always looking for homes.

239
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,940
Let me have her for £4 .80, didn't he?

240
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,250
It's reasonable.

241
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,350
Well, that's the price of two small
donnas and a shish.

242
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,870
That's what he reckoned he'd get out of
her.

243
00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:27,700
She don't look much of a killer to me.

244
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,360
Of course she is.

245
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,770
They all are.

246
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,980
It's in their nature, innit? It is. It's
in your nature. Well, go on, then.

247
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,370
What?

248
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:43,450
Come on then, tits. Come on. Come and
show Aunty Tracy what you can do.

249
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:46,310
You're a clever pussycat, aren't you?
Come on.

250
00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:47,820
We'll show her.

251
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:49,840
Right.

252
00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:53,430
OK, tits.

253
00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:56,010
Kill. Kill, tits.

254
00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:57,570
Kill. Go on, tits.

255
00:17:12,619 --> 00:17:13,669
in here though.

256
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,400
town of the area there by living in
filth. I wouldn't.

257
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,860
Tracy, don't be silly.

258
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,770
Anyone can get might. It's nothing to be
ashamed of.

259
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:54,980
Say, I told you.

260
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,550
Are you feeling all right? I'm your
friend.

261
00:17:57,551 --> 00:18:01,759
If your home is infested with rodents, I
wouldn't assume for one second it was

262
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,799
anything to do with your standards of
cleanliness.

263
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,220
Oh, thank you. You do vacuum the floors
regularly, don't you? Yes.

264
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,230
I wasn't being critical. It's just they
can exist on the tiniest of crumbs.

265
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,920
Honestly, I wasn't criticising.

266
00:18:13,921 --> 00:18:17,079
Well, that's it. I'm not taking the
chance of anyone else finding out and

267
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,179
looking down their nose at me. You can
tell the girls that this afternoon's

268
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,230
party's cancelled.

269
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,010
She can't.

270
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:26,490
We need the money. I won't be able to
afford to go out this weekend.

271
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:30,879
Can't we have the perfume party round
your house, Dorian? Well, normally I'd

272
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,599
only too glad, but I'm having a man in.

273
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,939
So, he can wait for you in the bedroom
till the party's over, can't he?

274
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,100
It's my odd job, man. He's still got a
few things to finish off.

275
00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:45,069
Tracy, if you need the money, please
don't cancel. I'd feel terrible. Why

276
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:46,120
you feel terrible?

277
00:18:46,121 --> 00:18:49,209
Having to disappoint the girls. They
were really looking forward to it.

278
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,260
You see?

279
00:18:50,310 --> 00:18:52,070
You can't call it off, Trace.

280
00:18:52,071 --> 00:18:54,529
They're dying to throw their wonga at
you.

281
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:55,549
Their what?

282
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,410
Their wonga, their spums, their wedge. I
don't know.

283
00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:02,729
I'm sure it'll be OK. Mice are very
timid. They won't come out if there's a

284
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:05,380
crowd. Anyway, Tiddles will see them
off, won't she?

285
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,980
Oh, go on, Trace. It'll be a good little
wear and wear.

286
00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:10,410
Oh, all right, then.

287
00:19:10,411 --> 00:19:12,549
But what about the dead one in there?

288
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:13,600
I'll get that for you.

289
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:17,829
Oh, how could you touch it? Since
learning about friends of the earth,

290
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:19,370
become very at one with nature.

291
00:19:19,371 --> 00:19:20,529
And you remember?

292
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:22,880
No, but Luke isn't. He's shown me his
pamphlets.

293
00:19:23,950 --> 00:19:25,940
You're a friend of a friend of the
earth.

294
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:29,430
Precisely. Bit more to the right,
Dorian. Got it.

295
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,840
girls here yet? No, not yet.

296
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,480
Mrs. Free, where's your broom?

297
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,000
My odd job, ma 'am.

298
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:01,670
I'll be back in a sec.

299
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,580
You're a naughty cat, Tiddles.

300
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,490
Am I supposed to do your piddles in the
litter tray?

301
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:18,450
Where's she gone?

302
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:20,190
Tiddles!

303
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:23,630
Tiddles! What if I've done enough,
though, Cheryl?

304
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:25,800
What's that smell?

305
00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,250
It's probably just me tobacco, Tracey.

306
00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:30,540
What have you done?

307
00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:32,410
I ain't done nothing.

308
00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:34,990
Just giving the place a final spruce up.

309
00:20:34,991 --> 00:20:36,129
You know me.

310
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,770
Yeah, I do. So what have you done?

311
00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:41,860
I don't want to alarm you, Tracey, but
there's a very peculiar smell.

312
00:20:42,990 --> 00:20:44,050
Oh, it's in here.

313
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:46,570
And the carpet's wet.

314
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,230
Oh, she ain't been over there in all of
she.

315
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:50,880
What do you mean?

316
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,460
It's that cat, isn't it? It's weeds all
over. my shake pile.

317
00:20:55,760 --> 00:21:00,800
It's that ear and all.

318
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,680
The old place stinks of cats.

319
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,420
Oh, it ain't that bad.

320
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,930
It's disgusting.

321
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:10,539
Well, at least the smell will keep the
mice away, won't it? Oh, I'm glad you

322
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:11,590
think it's funny.

323
00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:13,400
Look, Tracey, it'll be all right.

324
00:21:13,401 --> 00:21:16,779
Why don't you get your aromantic samples
out? You won't be able to smell a pair

325
00:21:16,780 --> 00:21:18,220
of month -old kippers in here.

326
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:21,100
I'm not having people in with my ass in
this state.

327
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:23,810
Definitely this time.

328
00:21:23,811 --> 00:21:26,329
Party's off. I knew I should never
listen to you two.

329
00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:29,090
Well, you can't cancel now. They'll be
here any minute.

330
00:21:29,710 --> 00:21:32,710
Tough. We'll just have to sit here and
pretend we're out.

331
00:21:34,850 --> 00:21:36,770
Well, what am I going to tell the girls?

332
00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:39,700
Tell them she was rushed to hospital.
You won't be lying.

333
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,940
Bit like hiding from the rent man, isn't
it?

334
00:21:49,650 --> 00:21:50,700
I wouldn't know.

335
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:54,670
They're here.

336
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,880
I've left me fags in the kitchen.

337
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,640
Sharon, pass us your roll -up over.

338
00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:10,630
Look,

339
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,590
it's your fault. You left to go with
that till they've gone.

340
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,700
this wacky backy out of my ass.

341
00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:35,800
All right, all right.

342
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,660
Any chance for a refund, doll?

343
00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:41,160
Nothing to do with me.

344
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:42,950
Luke gets it.

345
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,480
The cat's in the hallway.

346
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:52,540
She looks so innocent just sitting
there.

347
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,260
Oh, no, she's not just sitting there.

348
00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:01,200
I'll kill the little...

349
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,610
You wait.

350
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,540
Do you think they've gone?

351
00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:11,670
I'll go and see.

352
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,940
Oh, Tiddles.

353
00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:23,960
I thought you were about to moan, mate.

354
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:28,200
I think they've gone.

355
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,250
Are you sure?

356
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,910
God, I was beginning to feel like a
criminal.

357
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:36,150
No offence.

358
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:37,770
None taken.

359
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:15,330
I'll get my own bowl.

360
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,280
You're still not talking to me, then.

361
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,020
My house is a health hazard.

362
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,550
I've been shown up in front of my
neighbours.

363
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,910
I don't think I'll ever show my face
outside that front door again.

364
00:24:29,740 --> 00:24:34,019
Today, you are going to take that cat
back to the kebab shop, get someone in

365
00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:37,799
clean my carpet, and ring a proper pest
control bloke to come round and sort out

366
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,379
their mice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will, I
will. Yeah, well, all right, just make

367
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:43,510
sure you do, cos I've had it up to here
with you and your cats and...

368
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:55,650
Bed up.

369
00:24:55,820 --> 00:24:56,870
Morning, darling.

370
00:24:57,140 --> 00:24:58,340
Sharon, you made me jump.

371
00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:01,730
Don't suppose that's the last one you'll
have today?

372
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,360
Oh, come on, Trace. Give us a smile. It
won't kill you, will it?

373
00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:11,559
Look, don't let it get to you. A couple
of the girls have already run to ask me

374
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,959
to tell you not to worry. They all saw
the funny side.

375
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:14,779
Oh, great.

376
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,999
So now you're telling me I'm a laughing
stock.

377
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,619
Look, why don't you come to the Haven
with me this afternoon? We'll have a

378
00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:21,540
sauna, a massage, the full treatment.

379
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,870
I can't afford it. Oh, don't worry. My
treat.

380
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:25,630
No, thanks. I'm not in the mood.

381
00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:28,390
You saw your Luke Thursday afternoons.

382
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:32,700
The kitchen fitter that reaps his parts
other kitchen fitters cannot reach.

383
00:25:33,010 --> 00:25:37,089
Yes, well, I have cancelled to take
Tracy out to cheer her up. Well, thank

384
00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:40,709
but no thank you, Dorian. You go and
have your session with Luke. I'd rather

385
00:25:40,710 --> 00:25:41,709
on my own.

386
00:25:41,710 --> 00:25:42,760
I want mine sooner.

387
00:25:42,990 --> 00:25:44,730
Tough! You've got enough to do.

388
00:25:44,950 --> 00:25:48,440
Now, get on with it. Have you run that
bloke? I'm doing it! I'm doing it!

389
00:25:48,910 --> 00:25:50,310
Oh, my odd job, man.

390
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,490
You're keen, Mrs Green. Yes, thanks.
Finished, have you? Yes.

391
00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:58,030
Excuse me.

392
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,490
Hello?

393
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:01,750
Hello?

394
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,110
Mr Eddon?

395
00:26:03,860 --> 00:26:04,910
Speaking.

396
00:26:08,340 --> 00:26:10,040
Mr Eddon's pest control?

397
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,780
24 hours a day, seven days a week?

398
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:14,119
That's right.

399
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:15,740
I thought you was an odd job, man.

400
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:17,179
No, love.

401
00:26:17,180 --> 00:26:18,230
I'm Booker.

402
00:26:20,940 --> 00:26:22,680
British Pest Control Association.

403
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,160
You haven't got mice, have you, Dorian?

404
00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:27,640
Has she got mice?

405
00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:29,900
Did a one -legged duck swim in circles?

406
00:26:32,220 --> 00:26:33,840
Spread over here now, have they?

407
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,450
Spread over here?

408
00:26:35,451 --> 00:26:39,099
Yes, thank you. Your check will be in
the post. I shall see you to your van.

409
00:26:39,100 --> 00:26:40,150
no, you won't.

410
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:44,879
You two... Look, girls, I feel really
bad about this and that's why I've

411
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,540
cancelled all my appointments just to
cheer you up. You caused my mice.

412
00:26:49,740 --> 00:26:50,790
trying to be green.

413
00:26:50,791 --> 00:26:54,659
I bought a hundredweight of muesli and
stored it in the shed and the mice got

414
00:26:54,660 --> 00:26:55,800
and had a sort of picnic.

415
00:26:57,980 --> 00:27:00,160
I couldn't tell you. I was too
embarrassed.

416
00:27:00,331 --> 00:27:02,319
Let's kill her.

417
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,370
No.

418
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,520
I've got a better idea.

419
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:05,810
Give us these.

420
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,419
Why? What are you going to do? I'm going
to let Tiddles into your ass. Oh,

421
00:27:09,420 --> 00:27:10,470
Tracy, no.

422
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,540
She'll rot my underlay.

423
00:27:30,091 --> 00:27:37,519
We're only going and having a Birds of a
Feather night, Sunday night from nine.

424
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:41,200
A touch of romance next, though, when
Sharon has a brief encounter with a

425
00:27:41,340 --> 00:27:45,479
dark, handsome financial advisor in
Birds of a Feather. So I'll thank you

426
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,100
coming back to me after the break.

427
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:49,160
What will I do?

428
00:27:49,210 --> 00:27:53,760
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